Fun Team Building with Larry Lipman

EGO's In Team Building

As leaders, it's not our job to fix anyone or to have any solutions but to empower others to solve their own problems. Our job is to help team members expand the horizons of their awareness, and to facilitate their taking responsibility for their actions and reactions.

Yet when we're in front of the room facilitating a group or leading a teleconference, it's sometimes difficult to remember that just because we're leading, it doesn't mean that we have to be an authority on the subject at hand. In fact, the amount of brilliance unleashed in our participants may depend on how well we let go of our need to have all the answers.

A wise facilitator once said: "The wisdom in the room is far more important than the sage in front of the room."

To me, that means excellent leaders pause.  Instead of coming to the rescue all the time, a good leader allows his or her team to struggle.  During that struggle, new leaders emerge.

If we let go of control and allow others to lead, we will see people empowered and engaged, having more fun, and achieving greater results. It will also take a huge burden off us as leaders, because now we do not need to know everything.
  
Example

You're facilitating a group of people focused on accountability issues. One member of the group throws an impossible situation at you. You have no idea how to solve the problem presented. You are really stumped and you don't know how to respond. If you begin thinking, "Wow, I'm supposed to be the expert sage on accountability here. I need to come up with something brilliant, or change the subject pronto!"  Then you'll probably get stressed out and offer little value to your participants.
But if you decide instead to just admit what's going on and say for instance, "Hey. You've really stumped me with this one.  What does this bring up for the rest of you in the group?" You will have actually increased your level of credibility to the group by being honest. You will have empowered the group by seeking their wisdom and insights on the issue. Furthermore, you will get a more balanced perspective on the issue by drawing on everyone's life experience.

Body Language and Leadership In Team Building

Experts say that non-verbal communication is as important as verbal --- if not, moreso. Effective leaders need to be conscious of the power of their own body language and use non-verbal body language to gain rapport, connect, clarify, and win negotiations.

It is important to be sensitive to cultural differences in body language. When in doubt, check out your perceptions thoroughly. 

Examples of POSITIVE BODY LANGUAGE:
 
* opening your posture
* if presenting, standing where you can be seen by all
* moving deliberately and for a purpose
* using hand gestures to strengthen and enhance your communication
* not using podiums or other objects to hide behind
* making regular eye contact without staring
* smiling genuinely and nodding
* standing upright with relaxed posture
* amplifying what you are feeling with genuine facial expressions. 

Examples of NEGATIVE BODY LANGUAGE:

* Avoiding eye contact
* Not smiling or faking a smile
* Facing someone at an angle or leaning away from them
* crossing arms or legs when the other person is not
* drooping your shoulders
* gazing sideways and not being fully present
* fidgeting

The Secret for success for one-on-one body language:
Mirror the other person. It is a skill to mirror body language without appearing to mimic or make fun. Try it. People will connect with you instantly and not know why they like you!

4 Lessons I Have Learned As A Team Building Success Coach

When I reflect on the wisdom I've learned over the years as a team building facilitator, I find there are four core beliefs that have guided me and saved me from a lot of frustration and wasted time, while building great relationships.

Lesson#1: 

I cannot change people.  The only person I can change is myself.  Knowing this has stopped me from wasting my time and energy on family, friends, clients, and bosses! 

Lesson#2:

When we step back and get the big picture, we see perspective.  Just because I am having a bad day doesn't mean my whole life is a disaster.

Lesson#3:

My life changes for the better dramatically whenever I learn to kick out 1 or more of these nasty needs in life:  
  
• Need to be right
• Need to look good in front of others
• Need to be perfect
• Need to protect my ego
• Need to judge

Lesson#4:

The greatest gift I can give another human being is being present with that person in the now moment.  That is NOT easy.  We all want to speak up and respond immediately.  Listening is a learned skill.  Listening is a gift.

Team Building: Work On Yourself First!

1. Be Real. If you're not being real, people will know, and you compromise your integrity. Being genuine is a gift to yourself and others.

2. Be Totally Present. This is a learned skill. 

3. Work on Yourself. Listen to tapes, go to conferences, read empowering books, hang out with smart people.

4. Celebrate Your Successes.  Most people ask "What's next?" and never stop to celebrate.  That's sad.

5. What is your destiny?   Remembering your true motivation and passion behind your life will strengthen and energize you.

6. Remember the most powerful 4-letter word in the English language when it comes to handling rejection....."NEXT."

7. Be grateful.  There are always people worse off than we are.  It is impossible to be depressed and grateful at the same time.

Team Building Learning Styles

The communication experts say that we learn in different ways.  We have different “learning styles.”

The secret for speakers, coaches, parents, teachers, and anyone who wishes to connect with others is….connecting with peoples’ learning styles.  This becomes so much more effective when using an experiential, learn-by-doing format, rather than  traditional lecturing.

Getting people to interact will have far more lasting impact than lecturing.

The primary goal of facilitation is to make things "easier" for a person or group to learn, grasp, or accomplish, while allowing them to come up with the answers. This is particularly true when deciding whether to facilitate or teach. 

That is a big decision. Many teachers choose to lecture their students. That has been our tradition. And our egos very often depend on this perception. Teaching is easier to do than facilitating. I know.  I taught traditionally for many years. This is not to say that there is never a time for lecture. There is. Balance is the key.

So what's the point? The point is that not everybody is auditory. People will better learn, engage, shift, and change by actually participating in some behavior that engages their multiple senses. Providing your participants or students with an experience that engages multiple senses is far more powerful than anything a mere lecture can provide.

Example

I was asked to present a 20-minute keynote at a luncheon for 80 members of a local Chamber of Commerce.  Few people knew each other. I was asked to help them get to know each other better and talk about better communication --- in 20 minutes.   I told them I do not do miracles.

Now I could have talked about communication processes and bored them to death.
Not to mention, when people are eating, they are a step away from napping.

My work was cut out for me.

Here’s what I did:  I broke them into pairs and asked them to answer one question:
What is the most outrageous thing you both have in common?

Partners left for a quiet place and returned 5 minutes later.

When they stood up and shared their answers, people were falling off their chairs laughing! They learned more about each other in 5 minutes than they would in a lifetime. That is experiential learning.